1
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:09,560
♪ I'M GOING DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
2
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,290
♪ GONNA HAVE
MYSELF A TIME ♪
3
00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:13,030
♪ FRIENDLY FACES
EVERYWHERE ♪
4
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:14,760
♪ HUMBLE FOLKS
WITHOUT TEMPTATION ♪
5
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,630
♪ GOING DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
6
00:00:15,630 --> 00:00:18,230
♪ GONNA LEAVE MY
WOES BEHIND ♪
7
00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:19,530
♪ AMPLE PARKING
DAY OR NIGHT ♪
8
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:21,280
♪ PEOPLE SPOUTING
"HOWDY NEIGHBOR" ♪
9
00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:22,570
♪ HEADIN' ON UP
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
10
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:24,740
♪ GONNA SEE
IF I CAN'T UNWIND ♪
11
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:28,210
♪ TIM-TMAH TIM-MAH,
TIM-MAH TIM-MAH TIMMY TIM-MAH ♪
12
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:29,510
♪ SO COME ON DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
13
00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:31,250
♪ AND MEET SOME
FRIENDS OF MINE ♪
14
00:00:32,550 --> 00:00:34,280
Today on The Maury Povich Show:
15
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,580
These poor,
unfortunate people
16
00:00:35,590 --> 00:00:37,330
all have horrible
disfigurements.
17
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,050
And we won't believe
how we exploit them
18
00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:40,800
for your amusement !
19
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,090
THAT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.
20
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,390
HEY, KENNY !
21
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,860
THAT'S AWESOME,
KENNY.
22
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,030
NOW, GOSH DARN IT, FELLAS,
MY NAME'S NOT KENNY.
23
00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:49,460
KENNY'S DEAD.
24
00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:51,210
OKAY, NOT-KENNY.
25
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,930
AND I'M NOT GONNA WEAR
THIS COAT ANYMORE NEITHER.
26
00:00:52,940 --> 00:00:53,810
I SHOULD BE ABLE TO
BE YOU GUYS' FRIEND
27
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,100
WITHOUT WEARING
KENNY'S OLD COAT.
28
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,270
BE QUIET, NOT-KENNY, THE MAURY
POVICH FREAK SHOW IS ON.
29
00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:59,010
OH, ALL RIGHT THEN.
30
00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:00,310
Our next guest
is a little girl
31
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,040
who was born without
a midsection.
32
00:01:02,050 --> 00:01:02,920
Please welcome
Damla Jones.
33
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,250
Hello, Maury.
34
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:08,550
AH, SICK, DUDE !
35
00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:09,850
YOU'RE A VERY BRAVE
LITTLE GIRL,
36
00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:11,590
AND I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU.
37
00:01:11,590 --> 00:01:12,890
THANK YOU.
38
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:15,060
CAN YOU TELL THE AUDIENCE
HOW MISERABLE YOUR LIFE IS ?
39
00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:17,230
AH, YES, IT IS.
40
00:01:17,230 --> 00:01:18,530
HA HA,
YOU'RE A CUTIE.
41
00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:21,130
DO THE OTHER KIDS AT SCHOOL
SOMETIMES MAKE FUN OF YOU ?
42
00:01:21,130 --> 00:01:22,430
SOMETIMES.
43
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,170
DO PEOPLE SOMETIMES
STARE AT YOU ?
44
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:25,470
SOMETIMES.
45
00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:28,070
DO THEY GO, "OH GROSS,
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING ?"
46
00:01:28,070 --> 00:01:29,370
I DON'T KNOW.
47
00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:31,110
WELL, YOUR MOMMY TOLD US
YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO MUSIC.
48
00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:33,270
YES ?
49
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:34,590
WELL, GUESS WHAT, DAMLA,
50
00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:37,180
WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU
A $300 GIFT CERTIFICATE
51
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,050
TO CD WORLD IN TORRANCE.
52
00:01:38,050 --> 00:01:41,080
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE,
STAY TUNED,
53
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,380
BECAUSE NEXT WE'RE
GONNA MEET A WOMAN
54
00:01:42,390 --> 00:01:44,560
WHOSE HEAD WAS SMASHED IN
ON A LOGGER.
55
00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:46,290
AND WE'RE GONNA
GIVE HER A MAKEOVER !
56
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,020
THIS IS TERRIBLE, DUDE.
57
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,760
MAURY POVICH PARADES THESE
PEOPLE ON HIS SHOW LIKE
CARNIVAL FREAKS.
58
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,930
THEN GIVES THEM PRIZES AT
THE END AS IF TO JUSTIFY IT.
59
00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:54,530
WHAT A DICK.
60
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,780
DUDE, ONE OF US SHOULD
MAKE UP SOME DISEASE
61
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:04,940
AND GET ON THE MAURY POVICH SHOW
SO WE CAN GET A PRIZE.
62
00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:05,810
COOL !
63
00:02:05,810 --> 00:02:06,240
OH YES !
64
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,410
THAT'D BE
AWESOME.
65
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:10,150
DO YOU THINK
THEY'LL BELIEVE IT ?
66
00:02:10,150 --> 00:02:11,010
WHAT DISEASE
SHOULD WE SAY ?
67
00:02:11,010 --> 00:02:12,310
SHH, BE QUIET,
YOU GUYS.
68
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,060
HELLO, IS THIS
MAURY POVICH ?
69
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:14,920
OH, WELL, WHO
THE HELL ARE YOU ?
70
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,090
OH.
71
00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:18,820
WELL, I'M CALLING ABOUT
YOUR AD FOR FREAKS.
72
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,560
RIGHT, I MEAN PEOPLE
WITH DISABILITIES.
73
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,720
YEAH, I HAVE A FRIEND,
HE HAS A DEFORMITY,
74
00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:24,040
I THINK HE'D BE PERFECT
FOR YOUR SHOW.
75
00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:26,190
GREAT !
76
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,510
HIS CONDITION ?
77
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,100
AH, HE HAS A CONDITION
CALLED "CHIN-BALL-ALITIS".
78
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,270
YES, HIS BALLS ACTUALLY
HANG FROM HIS CHIN.
79
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,870
SHUT UP, YOU GUYS.
80
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:37,910
YES, YES, OF COURSE,
HE'S VERY UPSET ABOUT IT.
81
00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:40,070
YES, HE CRIES
ALL THE TIME.
82
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,390
MISERABLE, UH-HUH.
83
00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:42,680
YOU WA-- REALLY ?
WHAT ?
84
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,850
DUDE, THEY SAY THEY'LL FLY HIM
OUT THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
85
00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:46,150
AWESOME !
COOL !
86
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:47,880
YES, I'M SURE I CAN CONVINCE
HIM TO COME ON THE SHOW.
87
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,620
THERE WILL OF COURSE
BE A PRIZE INVOLVED ?
88
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,220
GREAT, I'LL CALL YOU
BACK IN AN HOUR.
89
00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:53,960
NO, THANK YOU.
90
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,260
YES !
91
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,560
THIS IS GONNA
BE SO FUNNY !
92
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:57,860
IT SURE IS !
93
00:02:57,860 --> 00:02:59,590
BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET THE
BALLS PUT ON BUTTERS' CHIN ?
94
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,210
YEAH, HOW WE GONNA--
WAIT, BUTTERS' CHIN ?
95
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,060
YEAH.
96
00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:04,380
BUT THAT'S ME,
I'M BUTTERS.
97
00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:06,530
WE KNOW, YOU'RE THE ONE
DOING IT, BUTTERS.
98
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:07,850
WHO'D YOU THINK
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT ?
99
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,140
WELL, HOLD ON
JUST A SECOND, YOU GUYS.
100
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:10,870
HEY, I KNOW HOW WE GET
THE BALLS ON BUTTERS' CHIN.
101
00:03:10,870 --> 00:03:12,610
THOSE "STAR TREK" DORKS
DOWN THE STREET.
102
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,340
THEY'RE ALWAYS MAKING CRAZY
MASKS AND SPECIAL EFFECTS
103
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:15,210
FOR THEIR DUMB MOVIES.
104
00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:16,510
HANG ON NOW.
105
00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:17,380
YEAH, I BET THEY COULD MAKE
A FAKE SET OF BALLS.
106
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:19,110
COME ON, BUTTERS.
107
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,430
WAIT, WHY DOES IT
HAVE TO BE ME ?
108
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,150
IT HAS TO BE YOU, BUTTERS,
THINK ABOUT IT.
109
00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:22,580
YEAH.
110
00:03:22,590 --> 00:03:24,330
BUT FELLAS, IF I GO
ON MAURY POVICH
111
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,620
WITH MY BALLS ON MY CHIN
112
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:26,490
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA
BE REALLY MAD.
113
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:28,220
WE'LL JUST
TELL YOUR PARENTS
114
00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:29,520
WE'RE GOING ON A CAMPING TRIP
WITH MY PARENTS.
115
00:03:29,530 --> 00:03:30,400
THEY'LL NEVER KNOW.
116
00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:31,690
I'M SORRY,
BUT THE ANSWER IS--
117
00:03:31,690 --> 00:03:35,160
UNH-UH, UNH-UH, UNH-UH.
118
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,030
KENNY WOULD'VE DONE IT.
119
00:03:36,030 --> 00:03:40,370
SO ? I TOLD YOU GUYS BEFORE,
I'M NOT KENNY.
120
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,100
WE KNOW, BELIEVE ME,
WE KNOW.
121
00:03:42,110 --> 00:03:44,280
WE'RE REMINDED EVERY DAY
THAT YOU'RE NOT KENNY
122
00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:45,570
BECAUSE KENNY WAS COOL.
123
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:47,320
YEAH, GOD, I WISH KENNY
WAS STILL ALIVE.
124
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,180
HE'D PUT BALLS ON HIS CHIN.
125
00:03:48,180 --> 00:03:50,780
HE WAS SUCH
AN AWESOME FRIEND.
126
00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:52,510
WELL, COME ON, GUYS.
127
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,260
IF BUTTERS WON'T EVEN PUT
BALLS ON HIS CHINS FOR US
128
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,420
I GUESS WE KNOW
WHERE WE STAND.
129
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:57,720
YEAH.
130
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,760
AH, GEE WHIZ, YOU PROMISE MY
MOM AND DAD WON'T FIND OUT ?
131
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,660
NOW, WE'RE GOING TO APPLY THE
LATEX WITH SOME SPIRIT GUM.
132
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:07,700
THAT SPIRIT GUM
SURE IS STINKY.
133
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,560
WHERE'D YOU GET
THE BALLS FROM ?
134
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,730
WE MADE A PLASTER MOLD
OF HIS CHIN
135
00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:13,330
AND THEN MADE A LATEX SCROTUM
AND PUT TWO GOLF BALLS INSIDE.
136
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,650
NICE.
137
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,940
NOW, WE JUST BLEND
THE SKIN TONES,
138
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:19,840
ADD A LITTLE HAIR
AND PRESTO !
139
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:20,710
WOW !
140
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:21,140
THAT LOOKS
AWESOME !
141
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:23,310
OH, I FEEL SILLY.
142
00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:24,610
THEY LOOK GREAT
ON YOU, BUTTERS,
143
00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:25,480
THEY REALLY DO.
144
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,650
I BELIEVE YOU
OWE US PAYMENT NOW.
145
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:30,250
ALL RIGHT, THE ORIGINAL AVID
CUT OF "STAR WARS EPISODE ONE".
146
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,850
WOW, THEY WEREN'T
LYING !
147
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:34,170
WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY
WANT THAT ANYWAY ?
148
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,460
EPISODE ONE
SUCKED BALLS.
149
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:37,190
YEAH, IT SUCKED HAIRY
BUTTERS' CHIN BALLS.
150
00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:40,660
HEY, HEY,
STOP IT, MAN !
151
00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:43,260
Gay Air flight 243
with service to New York,
152
00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:45,440
now ready for
general boarding.
153
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:46,300
THAT'S YOUR FLIGHT,
BUTTERS.
154
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:47,170
OKAY, HERE'S YOUR TICKET.
155
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:48,470
AND THEY'RE GONNA HAVE
A CAR WAITING FOR YOU
156
00:04:48,470 --> 00:04:49,770
AT THE GATE IN NEW YORK.
157
00:04:49,770 --> 00:04:51,070
WAIT, YOU GUYS AREN'T
COMING WITH ME ?
158
00:04:51,070 --> 00:04:52,370
HELL NO, DUDE.
159
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:53,690
THEN WE COULDN'T
WATCH YOU ON TV.
160
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,540
HOLD ON A MINUTE, GUYS,
I CHANGE MY MIND.
161
00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,840
I DON'T WANT TO GO.
162
00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:57,160
GOD, THE ISN'T BUTTERS AWESOME
FOR DOING THIS, YOU GUYS ?
163
00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:59,310
YEAH, HE SURE IS.
164
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,190
DOING ALL THIS TO
BRING US BACK A PRIZE.
165
00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:02,350
WHAT A GREAT FRIEND.
166
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:04,520
BUTTERS, BUTTERS !
167
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,560
ALL RIGHT THEN,
SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW.
168
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,530
THANKS FOR COMING
ON THE SHOW, KID.
169
00:05:17,530 --> 00:05:19,270
MAURY IS VERY EXCITED
TO MEET YOU.
170
00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,570
AND THIS IS THE GREEN ROOM
171
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,300
WHERE YOU CAN HANG OUT
WITH THE OTHER GUESTS
172
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:23,610
UNTIL WE CALL FOR YOU
ON SET.
173
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:26,220
BOY-WITH-BALLS-ON-CHIN,
THIS IS MAN-WITH-FOOT-ON-HEAD,
174
00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:29,240
GIRL-WITH-RAPID-AGING-DISEASE,
DISFIGURED-COUNTRY-SINGER.
175
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,990
AND MAN-WITH-NO-FACE.
176
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,710
WOW, SCOOPED-OUT-FACE-GUY.
177
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,460
I'VE SEEN YOU
ON TV BEFORE.
178
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:36,180
YES, THIS IS MY
SIXTH APPEARANCE.
179
00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:37,930
I'LL COME BACK
IN A BIT, FOLKS.
180
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,220
HEY, ROGER, WHAT THE HELL
IS WITH THESE
181
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:40,960
HORRIBLE
VEGGIE PLATTERS ?
182
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,990
YEAH, WE TOLD YOU LAST TIME
WE WANT FRESHER VEGETABLES.
183
00:05:43,990 --> 00:05:45,730
I'M SORRY, THIS IS WHAT
THE STUDIO PROVIDES.
184
00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:47,900
JUST TAKE A SEAT ON THE COUCH,
KID, I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.
185
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,000
BOY-WITH-BALLS-
ON-HIS-CHIN ?
186
00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,750
HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
AROUND.
187
00:05:58,740 --> 00:05:59,170
HOW LONG YOU BEEN
ON THE CIRCUIT ?
188
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:01,350
WHAT CIRCUIT ?
189
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:02,210
THE TALK SHOW
CIRCUIT.
190
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,510
DON'T TELL US THIS IS
YOUR FIRST ONE.
191
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:05,680
WELL YEAH, YOU'VE ALL DONE IT
MORE THAN ONCE ?
192
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,420
OPRAH TWO TIMES,
JENNY JONES ONCE,
193
00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:09,150
SALLY JESSY FIVE TIMES.
194
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,020
YOU'VE ONLY DONE
JENNY ONCE ?
195
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:13,050
I HATE DOING
THE JENNY JONES SHOW.
196
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:14,800
THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE
THEIR OWN HAIR PEOPLE.
197
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:16,090
I'M DOING
JENNY TOMORROW.
198
00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:17,390
YEAH, YOU PICKED A GOOD
SHOW TO DO FIRST, KID.
199
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:19,560
BUT YOU NEED TO
LEARN THE ROPES.
200
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:20,430
THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE
YOU ALL OVER THE COUNTRY,
201
00:06:20,430 --> 00:06:22,600
AND WE ALL DO TALK SHOWS
FOR A LIVING.
202
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,900
WE ALL KNOW EACH OTHER,
203
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:24,770
AND WE ALL KIND OF
STICK TOGETHER
204
00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:26,070
TO MAKE SURE OUR
INDUSTRY IS PROTECTED.
205
00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:29,100
YEAH, LIKE WHEN SOMEONE
LIES ABOUT BEING A FREAK.
206
00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:32,580
OH, THEY,
THEY DO, HUH ?
207
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:33,890
YEAH, THEY'LL MAKE UP
A FAKE CONDITION
208
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,480
TO GO ON THESE SHOWS AND
THEN TAKE OUR MONEY AWAY.
209
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,210
WE DON'T TAKE
KINDLY TO THAT.
210
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,380
I CAN CERTAINLY SEE WHY.
211
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:42,120
IT'S OKAY, FOLKS
DON'T DO IT ANYMORE.
212
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:46,450
NOT AFTER THEY SAW WHAT
WE DID TO LOBSTER BOY.
213
00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:47,770
LOBSTER BOY ?
214
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,920
YEAH, LOBSTER BOY USED TO
MAKE APPEARANCES
215
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,240
ON ALL THE TALK SHOWS.
216
00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:53,390
HE WAS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR
DISFIGURED PEOPLE ON TV.
217
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,570
BUT THEN ONE DAY
WE ALL FOUND OUT
218
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,600
THAT LOBSTER BOY WASN'T
A REAL FREAK AT ALL.
219
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,330
HE WAS JUST AN
ACTUAL LOBSTER.
220
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,510
LYING SACK OF CRAP.
221
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:02,950
SO YOU KNOW WHAT
WE DID TO HIM ?
222
00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:05,110
WHAT ?
223
00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:06,840
ONE NIGHT ALL US
FREAKS GOT TOGETHER
224
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,440
AND WE BOILED HIM ALIVE.
225
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:17,250
NOW LOBSTER BOY
IS NO MORE.
226
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,720
OH, YEAH, I HATE WHEN PEOPLE
FAKE CONDITIONS TOO.
227
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,020
THOSE STUPID FAKERS.
228
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,320
WE'RE GLAD YOU AGREE.
229
00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:25,940
OKAY, BOY-WITH-BALLS-
ON-HIS-CHIN,
230
00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:27,230
YOU'RE UP NEXT.
231
00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:30,100
OH, JESUS,
SEE ME THROUGH THIS.
232
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,500
Today on The
Maury Povich Show
233
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,100
we bring back some of our
favorite disfigured people
234
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:38,140
and introduce you
to some new ones.
235
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:38,570
HERE HE COMES !
236
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:39,870
THIS IS GONNA
BE AWESOME !
237
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,620
Our next guest suffers
from a rare birth defect
238
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:45,080
which caused his testicles and
scrotum to grow from his chin.
239
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,810
TESTICLES AND SCROTUM !
240
00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:50,290
PLEASE WELCOME 8½-YEAR-OLD
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
241
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,030
FROM SOUTH PARK, COLORADO.
242
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:57,660
THANKS SO MUCH FOR
COMING ON OUR SHOW.
243
00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,390
OH, THAT'S OKAY,
I SUPPOSE.
244
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,010
SO, IS IT TOUGH
BEING... DIFFERENT ?
245
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,730
AH, YEAH.
246
00:08:03,730 --> 00:08:05,030
AND DO ALL THE KIDS AT SCHOOL
MAKE FUN OF YOU ?
247
00:08:05,030 --> 00:08:07,640
THEY SURE DO !
248
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,240
THEY ALWAYS SAY TO ME,
"BUTTERS, YOU'RE NOT KENNY."
249
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,540
BUT I NEVER SAID
I WAS KENNY.
250
00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:13,270
THEY SAY KENNY WOULD DO THIS,
AND KENNY WOULD DO THAT--
251
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,590
UH-OH,
WE'RE LOSING HIM.
252
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:16,310
I'M TIRED OF IT.
YOU HEAR ME, FELLAS ?
253
00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:18,480
KENNY'S DEAD, AND YOU
JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
254
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,210
AH, YEAH, BUT I MEAN,
255
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:21,960
DO THE KIDS AT SCHOOL
MAKE FUN OF YOU
256
00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:23,250
BECAUSE OF YOUR
CONDITION ?
257
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,550
WHAT CONDITION ?
258
00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:26,720
YOU HAVE BALLS THAT
HANG OFF YOUR CHIN.
259
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:27,590
I DO ?!
260
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,320
OH, OH, I MEAN
YEAH, I DO.
261
00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:31,940
YEAH, THE KIDS AT SCHOOL
MAKE FUN OF ME FOR THAT.
262
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:32,790
THAT WAS CLOSE.
263
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,540
WHAT NAMES DO THEY
CALL YOU AT SCHOOL ?
264
00:08:34,530 --> 00:08:37,130
OH WELL, I GUESS
THEY CALL ME
265
00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:41,040
CHIN-BALL-BOY...
AND BALL-CHIN-BOY.
266
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,070
WHEN I'M WALKING THEY'LL SAY,
"HEY, THERE GOES CHIN BALLS."
267
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,580
AND DO THEY CALL YOU
FREAK AND WEIRDO ?
268
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:51,450
YEAH, I SUPPOSE.
269
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,610
AND DO THEY POINT AT YOU
AND LAUGH ?
270
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,360
DO THEY MAKE YOU WISH
YOU'D NEVER BEEN BORN ?
271
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:56,220
MAKE YOU WISH
TO PUT AN END
272
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,950
TO THE WHOLE MISERABLE
WRETCHED EARTH ?!
273
00:08:57,950 --> 00:08:59,250
UH, SURE.
274
00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:02,300
WELL, NAPOLEON, WE HAVE
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
275
00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:03,590
WAIT, HERE IT IS,
HERE IT IS.
276
00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:04,890
THE PRESENTS !
277
00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:06,630
BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A BRAVE
LITTLE CHIN-BALL-MAN
278
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,660
WE'RE GONNA SEND YOU
DIRECTLY FROM THIS STUDIO
279
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:12,280
TO THE WORLD'S LARGEST PUTT-PUTT
GOLF COURSE IN THE WORLD.
280
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:14,440
OH REALLY ?
281
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:15,740
WOW.
282
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,040
DID HE SAY
THE LARGEST
283
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,340
PUTT-PUTT GOLF COURSE
IN THE WORLD ?
284
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,070
GO ON, YOU'RE
GOING RIGHT NOW.
285
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,250
BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR.
286
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,410
THAT MEANS BUTTERS
GETS TO GO AND WE DON'T.
287
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:25,280
YEAH, WE THOUGHT UP
THE WHOLE THING.
288
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:28,320
ONCE AGAIN BUTTERS IS
TRYING TO SCREW US OVER.
289
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,480
THAT ASSHOLE !
290
00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:32,230
HELLO, IS THIS THE
MAURY POVICH SHOW ?
291
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:34,820
YES, HELLO, I'M CALLING BECAUSE
I SAW YOUR TELEVISION PROGRAM
292
00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:37,430
AND I ALSO HAVE BALLS
HANGING FROM MY CHIN.
293
00:09:37,430 --> 00:09:39,590
I'D LIKE TO COME ON AND
TALK ABOUT MY DISORDER
294
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,910
AND PERHAPS
GET A FREE TRIP
295
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:42,200
TO THE LARGEST PUTT-PUTT
GOLF COURSE IN THE WORLD.
296
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,500
I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE DONE
DOING FREAK SHOWS FOR NOW.
297
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,230
WE'RE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE
FOR A NEW TOPIC.
298
00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:46,530
WHAT'S THE NEW TOPIC ?
299
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,280
"PLEASE HELP MY
OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILD."
300
00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:50,870
OH... HEY,
I'M OUT OF CONTROL.
301
00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:51,740
REALLY ?
302
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,040
IS YOUR MOTHER
IN TEARS EVERY DAY
303
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,340
OVER HOW DISOBEDIENT
YOU ARE ?
304
00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:55,640
UH, SURE.
305
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,380
DOES SHE WORRY ABOUT YOU
DOING DRUGS AND HAVING SEX
306
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:58,680
AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE ?
307
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:01,280
YEAH, SURE, I DO CRACK AND
POTPOURRI AND GREASIES.
308
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,580
WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
309
00:10:02,590 --> 00:10:03,890
IF YOU CAN GET YOUR MOM
TO COME ON WITH YOU
310
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,630
WE'D LOVE TO FLY YOU OUT.
311
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,360
MY, MY MOM ?
312
00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:11,260
MOM...
313
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:12,130
YEAH, SWEETIE ?
314
00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:12,990
COULD YOU
DO ME A FAVOR ?
315
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,610
WHAT'S THAT,
MY LITTLE MAN ?
316
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,770
COULD YOU GO ON THE
MAURY POVICH SHOW WITH ME
317
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:19,930
AND SAY THAT I'M OUT OF CONTROL
AND DO DRUGS AND HAVE SEX
318
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:21,250
SO THAT I CAN
GO TO THE LARGEST
319
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,400
PUTT-PUTT GOLF COURSE
IN THE WORLD ?
320
00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,580
MMM, BUT YOU'RE NOT
OUT OF CONTROL, MUFFIN.
321
00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:27,310
YOU'RE MY PERFECT
LITTLE GUMDROP.
322
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:29,040
I'M JUST ASKING YOU
TO LIE FOR ME.
323
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:29,480
YOU LOVE ME, DON'T YOU ?
324
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,210
OF COURSE I DO.
325
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:32,080
OH, I HAVE SUCH A
PRETTY MOTHER.
326
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,810
SUCH A WONDERFUL MOTHER.
327
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:35,130
SWEETIE, DON'T.
328
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:35,550
THEN IT'S SETTLED.
329
00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:37,280
OH, I'VE GOT
SUCH A GREAT MOTHER,
330
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:39,030
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOTHER.
331
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:41,190
JUST WHAT DID YOU THINK
YOU WERE DOING, BUTTERS ?
332
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,490
NOT ONLY DID YOU LIE TO US
333
00:10:42,490 --> 00:10:43,790
AND SAY YOU WERE ON A CAMPING
TRIP WITH KYLE'S FAMILY,
334
00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:48,130
YOU MADE A FOOL OF YOURSELF
AND US ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.
335
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:49,000
I'M SORRY, MOM.
336
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,170
WELL, SORRY ISN'T GONNA
MAKE IT THIS TIME, MISTER.
337
00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,770
Y'KNOW, YOUR GRANDMOTHER SAW
THE SHOW AND HAD A MILD STROKE.
338
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:55,940
OH GEE, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO ALMOST KILL GRANDMA.
339
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,670
I PROMISE I'LL NEVER
GO ON TV
340
00:10:57,670 --> 00:10:59,410
WITH BALLS
ON MY CHIN AGAIN.
341
00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,140
UH ! YOU BETTER BELIEVE
YOU WON'T, BUSTER.
342
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:03,310
YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE TO LEAVE NOW
343
00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:04,610
TO VISIT GRANDMA
IN THE HOSPITAL.
344
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:06,350
BUT YOU CAN JUST TAKE
THOSE BALLS OFF YOUR CHIN
345
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:07,210
AND MARCH RIGHT UP
TO YOUR ROOM.
346
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:09,390
YES, MA'AM.
347
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:12,850
SERVES ME RIGHT.
348
00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:14,600
PUTTING BALLS ON MY CHIN
AND LYING ABOUT IT.
349
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,320
WHY, I SHOULD BE GROUNDED
FOR A MONTH.
350
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,070
WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS ?
WHY CAN'T I BEHAVE MYSELF ?
351
00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:22,830
HEY, BUTTERS, THOSE OTHER
FREAK PEOPLE FROM THE SHOW
352
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:24,130
WERE JUST OVER HERE
LOOKING FOR YOU.
353
00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:25,430
OH JESUS !
THEY WERE ?
354
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:26,300
YEAH, THEY WANTED TO
FIND YOU BAD.
355
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:28,040
OHH, GOD,
WHAT'D YOU TELL THEM ?
356
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,770
I TOLD THEM
WHERE TO FIND YOU.
357
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,510
WHAT, WHY THE HECK
WOULD YOU DO THAT ?
358
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:34,110
THEY WANNA KILL ME FOR
NOT BEING A REAL FREAK.
359
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:34,980
OH...
360
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:37,140
WELL, SERVES YOU RIGHT
FOR SCREWING US OVER.
361
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:44,950
OH JESUS, NO.
362
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:46,690
THEY'VE COME TO
BOIL ME ALIVE,
363
00:11:46,690 --> 00:11:48,420
JUST LIKE LOBSTER BOY.
364
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:49,720
I GOTTA GET
OUT OF HERE.
365
00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:52,340
WAIT, I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE,
I'M GROUNDED.
366
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:54,930
OH CHRIST,
WHAT A PICKLE.
367
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,400
NAPOLEON ?
368
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,000
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE ?
369
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,910
I THINK HE'S UP HERE.
370
00:12:04,910 --> 00:12:06,640
OH, HELLO, FOLKS,
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM ?
371
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,980
THERE YOU ARE, BOY-WITH-
BALLS-ON-HIS-CHIN.
372
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,010
WE'VE GOT BIG NEWS--
THE UNION IS STRIKING.
373
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:15,330
THE UNION ?
374
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,620
OH, THAT'S WHY YOU CAME ?
375
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:18,350
WE'RE TIRED OF OUR
CRAPPY PRIZES,
376
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:19,650
SO THE UNION PRESIDENT,
377
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:21,400
MAN-WITH-TERRIBLE-
SKIN-CONDITION,
378
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:23,560
HAS TOLD US TO
ROUND EVERYONE UP.
379
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,290
I CAN'T FREAK-STRIKE, FELLAS,
I'M GROUNDED.
380
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,460
GROUNDED FOR WHAT ?
381
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:30,060
FOR HAVING BALLS ON MY--
I MEAN, NOTHING.
382
00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,380
I'M NOT GROUNDED.
383
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,670
GOOD, THEN YOU CAN
MARCH WITH US.
384
00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:33,970
FREAKS OF THE WORLD
UNITE !
385
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,170
TODAY ON MAURY POVICH,
386
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:40,910
THESE MOMS DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH THEIR OUT-OF-CONTROL KIDS.
387
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:44,380
YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS
SO WHORISH ON OUR SHOW
388
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,110
THAT IT BORDERS ON
CHILD PORNOGRAPHY !
389
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,860
WE'RE HERE
TALKING WITH MOMS
390
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:51,320
WHO THINK THEIR CHILDREN
ARE OUT OF CONTROL.
391
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,920
NOW, VANESSA HERE SAYS THAT HER
13-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER VANITY
392
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:57,830
IS ALREADY DOING DRUGS AND
HAVING SEX WITH OLDER MEN.
393
00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:00,860
WHOA...
394
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,160
VANESSA, WHAT DOES
VANITY SAY TO YOU
395
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,770
WHEN YOU TELL HER TO
DO HER HOMEWORK ?
396
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:06,070
SHE SAYS
SHE HATES ME.
397
00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:09,540
SHE CALLS ME RETARD.
398
00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,710
THEN SHE SAYS MY COOZE
IS ALL DRIED UP
399
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:15,180
AND NOBODY WANTS IT.
400
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,480
AWW !
401
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:17,780
WELL, LET'S
BRING HER OUT.
402
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,080
HERE'S VANITY !
403
00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:21,680
WHATEVER, WHATEVER.
404
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:25,590
YOU
SUCKERS DON'T KNOW .
405
00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:26,890
YOU !
406
00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:34,700
WOW, VANITY, YOU ARE REALLY
AN OUT-OF-CONTROL TEEN.
407
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:35,130
YEAH !
408
00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:37,300
MAURY ! MAURY !
409
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,600
WHATEVER !
410
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,330
MAURY, MY MOM DON'T
KNOW .
411
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:41,650
YOU CAN AX HER.
412
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,370
I AX ALL MY HOMIES
IF THEY BE DOWN WITH IT.
413
00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:45,110
Y'KNOW, IT'S ALL
GOOD, .
414
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:49,440
YOU,
SUCKERS !
415
00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:50,320
JEEZ, THAT GIRL
IS PISSED OFF.
416
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:53,780
OKAY, CARTMAN FAMILY,
YOU'RE ON IN TWO MINUTES.
417
00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:56,820
Why can't you just
listen to me and love me ?
418
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:58,120
Shut up !
419
00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,850
Shut the up,
you dried up skank !
420
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:02,900
I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT
LIKE THAT, POOPSY-KINS.
421
00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:06,360
BUT IF I'M NOT THE MOST
OUT-OF-CONTROL TEEN
422
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,100
I MIGHT NOT WIN
THE PRIZE.
423
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:08,960
EXCUSE ME, I WANT TO
MAKE A QUICK CHANGE.
424
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,130
WHERE'S WARDROBE ?
425
00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:12,870
SECOND DOOR
ON THE RIGHT.
426
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:16,540
STRIKE ! STRIKE !...
427
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:21,750
BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
THE TIME HAS COME FOR US
428
00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:24,350
TO BE TREATED WITH
THE RESPECT WE DESERVE !
429
00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:26,510
WE'RE A STRONG AND DIVERSE
GROUP OF PEOPLE,
430
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,560
WITH MEMBERS LIKE
WOMAN-WITH-CRAB-LIKE-BODY,
431
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:31,720
INCREDIBLY-OBESE-
BLACK-PERSON,
432
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,890
MAN-WITH-BRAINS-
OUTSIDE-OF-HEAD
433
00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:35,620
AND LIZA MINELLI.
434
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:38,660
THE TALK SHOWS HAVE US ON AND
GIVES US LITTLE GIFTS AND PERKS
435
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:43,000
WHILE THEY MAKE TENS OF
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS !
436
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,030
WE TOLD THE TALK SHOWS OUR
DEMANDS AND THEY LAUGHED !
437
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,200
THEY SAY THEY CAN GET PLENTY
OF OTHER STUPID GUESTS
438
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,500
TO GO ON THEIR SHOWS,
439
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:52,980
SO WE MUST PICKET
THOSE OTHER GUESTS.
440
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,590
OH, GOSH, I NEED TO GO,
I CAN'T PICKET, GUYS.
441
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:57,750
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
PICKET ?
442
00:14:57,750 --> 00:14:59,910
WHO'S NOT GONNA PICKET ?
443
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:03,820
BOY-WITH-BALLS-ON-CHIN
DOESN'T WANT TO PICKET.
444
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,420
IT'S JUST THAT PARENTS ARE--
I CAN'T PICKET.
445
00:15:06,420 --> 00:15:09,020
WHY, YOU'RE NOT
A SCAB, ARE YOU ?
446
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:10,320
NO, I'M NOT A SCAB.
447
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:12,500
NOW, WE WILL SPLIT UP
INTO GROUPS
448
00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:13,790
AND FORM PICKET LINES.
449
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,840
THE FIRST GROUP WILL BE LED BY
INCREDIBLY-OBESE-BLACK-MAN.
450
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:19,430
EXCUSE ME, I'M NOT
INCREDIBLY-OBESE-BLACK-MAN.
451
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:23,350
I'M INCREDIBLY-BLACK-OBESE-MAN.
452
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,070
OH, RIGHT, MY BAD.
453
00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:27,240
AND NOW, BACK TO MORE KIDS
WHO ARE OUT OF CONTROL
454
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,410
ON THE MAURY POVICH SHOW !
455
00:15:29,410 --> 00:15:31,150
OUR NEXT MOTHER
IS LIANE CARTMAN.
456
00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,310
HER SON CLAIMS TO BE THE MOST
OUT-OF-CONTROL KID IN THE WORLD
457
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:37,230
AND SAYS THERE'S NOTHING HIS
STUPID MOM CAN DO ABOUT IT.
458
00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:40,250
WHY WON'T YOU
KIDS BEHAVE ?
459
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:41,570
SHUT UP, SKANK !
460
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,720
HE'S NOT
TALKING TO YOU !
461
00:15:43,730 --> 00:15:45,900
SO, MISS CARTMAN, YOU CAN'T
CONTROL YOUR CHILD ?
462
00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:46,760
OH, MY LITTLE
POOPSY-KINS
463
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,500
GETS INTO NO-NO'S
ONCE IN A WHILE,
464
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,660
BUT HE'S STILL MY PERFECT
LITTLE SUMPSY-KITTLES.
465
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:52,840
WELL, YOUR SON MADE
A VIDEO BACKSTAGE.
466
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,010
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
467
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,170
MAURY, I AM
OUT OF CONTROL.
468
00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:59,340
YEAH, I USE DRUGS,
I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, BITCH.
469
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:01,510
YEAH, I HAVE SEX AND
I DON'T USE PROTECTION.
470
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,680
IT'S MY HOT BODY,
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT.
471
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,410
I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL
AND I KILL PEOPLE.
472
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:08,880
WHATEVER !
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT.
473
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,180
BOO ! BOO !
474
00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:11,930
OH, HE'S SUCH A CUTIE.
475
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,520
WELL, LET'S BRING HIM OUT.
HERE'S ERIC CARTMAN !
476
00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:18,430
WHATEVER, WHATEVER !
477
00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:20,160
MAURY, MY MOM
CAN'T CONTROL ME.
478
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,330
AX HER !
GO ON, AX HER !
479
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:24,060
MISS CARTMAN, WHAT DOES
YOUR SON TO LIKE TO DO ?
480
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,380
OOH, HE LOVES
PLAYING WITH
481
00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:27,100
HIS "CLYDE FROG"
AND "WELLINGTON BEAR".
482
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,840
MOM, WE'RE PRETENDING,
REMEMBER ?
483
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,140
SEX AND DRUGS.
484
00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:32,310
OH, I MEAN
SEX AND DRUGS.
485
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:33,170
OHH !
486
00:16:33,180 --> 00:16:35,350
WHATEVER,
WHATEVER !
487
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:36,210
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT !
488
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:38,380
OH, WHATEVER,
YOU AIN'T TOUGH, HO.
489
00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,550
I ROAM WITH GANGS.
490
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:42,720
OH YEAH ?
I ROAM WITH 12 GANGS.
491
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,020
AND WE ONLY COMMIT
HATE CRIMES.
492
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,750
WHATEVER !
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT !
493
00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,050
WHATEVER !
494
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,370
YOU AIN'T BAD.
YOU AIN'T NOTHING.
495
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,960
I DITCH CLASS AND GO SHOOT
HEROIN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM.
496
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,430
WHATEVER ! I RAN FOR
CONGRESS AND WON.
497
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,160
THEN I HAD SEX
WITH AN INTERN,
498
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,460
KILLED HER
AND HID HER BODY.
499
00:16:57,470 --> 00:17:00,080
WHATEVER !
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT !
500
00:17:00,070 --> 00:17:00,500
WHAT DO WE WANT ?
501
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,800
BETTER PRIZES !
502
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,100
WHEN DO WE
WANT THEM ?
503
00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:04,420
NOW !
504
00:17:04,410 --> 00:17:05,270
WHAT DO WE WANT ?
505
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:06,140
BETTER PRIZES.
506
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,010
WHEN DO WE
WANT THEM ?
507
00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:08,310
NOW THEN.
508
00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:09,610
SIR, I REALLY
GOTTA GO HOME,
509
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:10,910
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA
BE SORE AT ME.
510
00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:12,650
NAPOLEON, YOU NEED TO
UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.
511
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:13,950
FOR YOU A UNION TO WORK
ALL MEMBERS MUST BE PREPARED
512
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,980
TO MAKE SACRIFICES
AND STICK TOGETHER.
513
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:18,730
BUT I GOTTA GET BACK
TO MY FAMILY.
514
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,450
WE'RE YOUR FAMILY,
TOO, NAPOLEON.
515
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:21,770
WE'RE LIKE YOU.
516
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:22,620
WHEN WE LOOK AT YOU
WE DON'T EVEN SEE
517
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,360
THE TESTICLES
ON YOUR CHIN.
518
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,530
WE SEE THE TESTICLES
IN YOUR HEART.
519
00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:27,390
WHAT DO WE WANT ?
BETTER PRIZES !
520
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,570
WHEN DO WE WANT THEM ?
NOW !
521
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,740
OH, HAMBURGERS, THIS JUST
KEEPS ON GETTING WORSE.
522
00:17:31,730 --> 00:17:35,200
OKAY, FOLKS, WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO MOVE ALONG.
523
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,240
WHY ? WE'RE A UNION AND
WE HAVE A RIGHT TO PICKET.
524
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:39,970
I'M SORRY,
BUT THE GOVERNMENT
525
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:40,850
DOES NOT RECOGNIZE YOU
AS A UNION.
526
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,140
YOU'LL HAVE TO GO.
527
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:43,010
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?
528
00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:45,180
THAT BECAUSE OF
OUR APPEARANCE
529
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:46,050
OUR ORGANIZATION
IS LESS IMPORTANT ?
530
00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:49,080
NOW NOW NOW,
I'M NOT TELLING YOU PEOPLE
531
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:49,950
THAT YOUR UNION
DOESN'T MATTER.
532
00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:52,990
I'M JUST TELLING YOU THAT
YOU'RE NOT REALLY PEOPLE.
533
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:56,460
ALL RIGHT, THAT DOES IT.
534
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,190
IT'S TIME TO BRING OUT
THE BIG GUNS.
535
00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:00,360
PREPARE THE VIDEO
SABOTAGE.
536
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,400
OH, NO, NOT THE
VIDEO SABOTAGE.
537
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:05,830
WHO IS THE MOST
OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILD ?
538
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:08,870
WE'RE BACK WITH MAURY.
539
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,170
WE'RE HERE
TALKING WITH MOMS
540
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:12,770
WHO THINK THEIR CHILDREN
ARE OUT OF CONTROL.
541
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:13,640
WHATEVER !
542
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,240
I SLAUGHTERED FIVE BABY SEALS
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
543
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,410
WHATEVER !
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT !
544
00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:19,710
NOW LET'S MEET JOLINE.
545
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,890
JOLINE SAYS HER DAUGHTER
IS ALSO OUT OF CONTROL,
546
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,620
THAT SHE'S FLIRTING
WITH OLDER MEN.
547
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:26,220
AND, SHE'S ONLY
FOUR MONTHS OLD.
548
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:27,520
OHH !
549
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,260
MM-HMM, THAT'S RIGHT.
MAURY.
550
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:31,860
LET'S BRING HER OUT,
HERE'S CHANTAL !
551
00:18:37,930 --> 00:18:40,970
SO, JOLINE, EXACTLY HOW IS YOUR
DAUGHTER OUT OF CONTROL ?
552
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,140
YOU SAY SHE FLIRTS
WITH OLDER MEN ?
553
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:44,440
MAURY, IT'S LIKE THIS.
554
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,740
WHENEVER I HAVE FRIENDS
OVER TO THE HOUSE
555
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:47,910
CHANTAL WILL COME WALTZING
IN THE LIVING ROOM
556
00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:50,080
COMPLETELY NAKED !
557
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,410
WHATEVER. I HELPED IN
A DRIVE-BY SHOOTING.
558
00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:56,590
WHATEVER ! I DIGITALLY PUT
"JABBA THE HUT"
559
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:58,330
BACK INTO THE ORIGINAL
"STAR WARS" MOVIE.
560
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,190
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT !
561
00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:01,790
WOW, THAT IS
OUT OF CONTROL.
562
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:02,660
WHY, JUST LAST NIGHT
563
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:03,960
I HAD THREE GENTLEMEN CALLERS
OVER TO MY HOUSE
564
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,560
AND CHANTAL
TOOK HER CLOTHES OFF
565
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,730
RIGHT IN FRONT
OF EVERYBODY !
566
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,900
BOO ! BOO !
567
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:14,370
YOU SEE ? THERE SHE GOES,
THERE SHE GOES.
568
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:18,270
YOU GOD DAMN WHORE !
569
00:19:18,270 --> 00:19:20,010
Attention, Maury viewers.
570
00:19:20,010 --> 00:19:21,740
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ?
571
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:23,910
A lot of decent hard-working
freaks in America
572
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:25,650
are losing their
talk show jobs
573
00:19:25,650 --> 00:19:27,380
to freaks of
a different nature.
574
00:19:27,380 --> 00:19:29,550
SURE, EVERYONE IN THIS GREAT
COUNTRY OF OURS IS A FREAK.
575
00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:31,720
BUT TRUE, PHYSICALLY-DEFORMED
FREAKS MUST BE RECOGNIZED.
576
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,190
FOR IT IS THESE REAL FREAKS
THAT MAKE YOU ALL FEEL BETTER
577
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:37,360
ABOUT YOURSELVES
FOR NOT BEING ONE.
578
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,660
SO NEXT TIME YOU'RE
WATCHING TELEVISION
579
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,260
MAKE SURE IT'S A SHOW
WITH FREAK-FREAKS,
580
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,560
AND NOT JUST WITH PEOPLE
THAT ARE FREAKS
581
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,170
BECAUSE THEY'RE STUPID TRAILER
TRASH FROM THE SOUTH.
582
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:48,200
THAT'S WHAT WE MEAN WHEN WE SAY
LOOK FOR THE TRUE FREAK LABEL.
583
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,970
♪ LOOK FOR THE
TRUE FREAK LABEL ♪
584
00:19:52,970 --> 00:19:57,310
♪ WHEN YOU ARE WATCHING
A TV TALK SHOW ♪
585
00:19:57,310 --> 00:20:01,650
♪ REMEMBER SOMEWHERE
A UNION'S GROWING ♪
586
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:05,550
♪ OUR WAGES GOING
TO FEED THE KIDS ♪
587
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:08,590
♪ AND ROB THE HOUSE
WE WORK FOR ♪
588
00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:10,760
♪ BUT WHO'S COMPLAINING ? ♪
589
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,660
♪ WE'RE T.F.U.
WE'RE MAKING OUR WAY ♪
590
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:19,000
♪ SO ALWAYS LOOK FOR
THE TRUE FREAK LABEL ♪
591
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:24,640
♪ BECAUSE YOU NEED US
RIGHT HERE IN THE U.S.A. ♪
592
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,240
AH, SORRY, AMERICA,
LITTLE GLITCH THERE.
593
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,110
ANYWAY--
594
00:20:28,110 --> 00:20:29,410
THEY'RE RIGHT.
595
00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:30,280
WE SHOULD'VE NEVER
CROSSED THAT PICKET LINE.
596
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,880
COME ON, HONEY.
597
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,620
WAIT, WAIT, COME BACK.
598
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:35,920
MAYBE WE COULD MAKE THE OTHER
OUT-OF-CONTROL KIDS
599
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,650
TAKE THEIR CLOTHES OFF, TOO.
600
00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:39,820
WHATEVER !
I'LL CRAP IN MAURY'S PANTS.
601
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:44,160
SIR, THE RATINGS HAVE JUST
STARTED TO PLUMMET.
602
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,460
THOSE DAMN FREAKS !
603
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:52,400
I GAVE YOU SHOES !
AND GROCERIES !
604
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,000
AND THIS IS HOW
YOU REPAY ME ?
605
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,170
VERY WELL,
COME UPSTAIRS AND...
606
00:20:57,170 --> 00:21:01,510
WE'LL NEGOTIATE.
607
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:04,990
WE DID IT,
THE STRIKE WORKED.
608
00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:08,020
NOW WE CAN GO ON
WITH OUR CAREERS.
609
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:08,880
THANK GOD THAT'S OVER.
610
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,490
NOW I CAN
GET BACK HOME.
611
00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:13,220
BUTTERS, YOU HAVE
SCREWED ME OUT OF A PRIZE
612
00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,520
FOR THE LAST TIME !
613
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:17,990
OH, DOUBLE HAMBURGERS.
614
00:21:17,990 --> 00:21:21,460
JESUS CHRIST !
THAT OUT-OF-CONTROL KID
615
00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:24,060
RIPPED POOR NAPOLEON'S BALLS
RIGHT OFF !
616
00:21:24,070 --> 00:21:24,940
GET HIM !
617
00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:26,670
AHH !
618
00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:31,870
HEY, THINGS ACTUALLY TURNED OUT
OKAY FOR ME THIS TIME.
619
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:32,310
BUTTERS !
620
00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:34,910
OH, I KNOW.